What if I can’t stop loving you?

Heyy mina, long time no see! Sorry about disappearing off the face of the earth, you know how that is sometimes. But I’m here in Japan at long last! My dream came true, and currently typing this as I listen to one of Okinawa’s famous typhoons haha. Anyway, today is apparently my 6-year anniversary on this website, what a coincidence. Well, here’s a new poem that may or may not be based on real life experiennceee, ok so it is. Here you go. XD

♥♠♦♣♦♥♠♣

What if I can’t stop loving you?

I was happy by myself and then you came

now you’re here but far away

and I have to tell my heart “be quiet.” 

What if our memories are connected by glue?

Every little thing reminds me of you

but you didn’t feel the same so now what

I have to tell my feelings to stop

but the brain has no power here. 

What if you’d said ‘yes’?

Maybe that’s scarier than ‘no’ 

my entire life would change and I

wouldn’t be able to predict the future then.

What If I can’t stop loving you?

But I must pretend for our friendship

still everything you do makes me smile

and crushes my heart all the while. 

A doll’s mouth

If I spoke my mind,

Oh how you would despise me. 

You call me a friend and I call you mine

But the truth is harder to find

If you are truly mine, 

My beliefs would not upset you, I find. 

I’ve played the doll

Blink and smile

Let them talk their mouths awhile

While I am shunned in silence, 

My opinion doesn’t matter 

Unless it’s theirs. 

So an old lady asked me why

I never have an opinion of my own

I smiled and laughed with a shrug.

You don’t want to hear my opinion

You want a pair of ears

Someone to kick

But I let them kick me,

I let them pull my strings,

Try to sew their seeds inside my fabric,

It doesn’t work. 

If I was a doll that could talk

Oh, what I would say. 

So much that would give you chills. 

Because I don’t choose my morals from the media. 

Oops, did I say that aloud? 

My bad.

So much I would say if I had the guts. 

But I want to be loved, 

So I let them dig their needle into my lips–

Sewing it shut. 

But I’m tired of that

So

Let the stuffing fly

♠♥♦♣♦♥♠

Greetings, minasan from Japan! Yep, that’s right, she’s finally living it up here– but mostly studying Japanese haha! Hope you liked my poem, and if you didn’t, too bad for you. Sorry sorry, just trying to assert myself more. I feel like I’ve lost myself drowned in other people beliefs, not allowed to express my own, so now I want to do that, and If I lose half my friends, they weren’t real friends to begin with . Stay cool cats, kekekekekeke